This weekend I woke up to warmth and sunshine. I grabbed my cup of coffee and stayed as far away from my office as possible. I proceeded to spend some much needed family time together with my husband and kids. I even stayed up late to watch a movie…
The same type of movie I always watch.
(My poor husband.) Here, let me explain…
Do you believe in happily ever after?
I often refer to dramatic, tear jerking movies as “Bette Midler Movies.” This name was derived by me from the string of dramatic movies Bette Midler acted in during the late 1980’s such as Beaches and Wind Beneath My Wings.
Remember those two movies? I do. (Behind a wall of tears.)
It was these two movies that single-handedly converted me into a strict, happily-ever-after-ending-ONLY movie watcher – with the occasional exception of documentaries or historically-based movies* such as Schindler’s List (1993) and Titanic (1997).
* These movies also often put me behind a significant wall of tears. So much so, that I have committed to watching most documentary and historical movies only once. That is ALL I can take. (And I will subsequently dwell on those movies for a very. long. time.)
Here’s my issue: there are too many things in life that are sad and which can cause one to cry – and when I have the rare chance to sit, relax and watch a movie, I don’t want to cry. Period.
And before you go there…
- I understand that happily-ever-after-movies are not necessarily a true reflection of everyday life.
- I get that many things do not end “happily ever after.”
- And I surely know that things don’t always happen in the order you want them to (or in the way in which you want them to) and that life is not always a “bed of roses.”
But for me, these type of movies (as unrealistic as they can be) help me to surround myself with a more positive energy. I will even go as far as to research a movie’s ending prior to watching it. (I’ve been surprised by some not-so-happily-ever-after endings and it is not a pretty sight.)
And I realize now that this concept tends to mirror the way I step through my own life.
My Defense Mechanism: Avoiding the Negativity
I am not always a positive person – but I would say that I strive to remain positive.
I think that I accomplish more and stay happier when I have a positive outlook in life. Anything that I can do to avoid falling into an unhappy state is always welcome.
When possible, I like to surround myself with others (and movies!) who have a more positive attitude. (This is especially helpful when – on occasion – my attitude leans in the wrong direction or when I am having a bad day.)
Yet the flip side of my “defense mechanism” is: Avoidance.
I tend to avoid most things that add negativity to my life. When “real life drama” happens – I like to stay (and try my hardest to stay) as FAR away from it as possible.
Idealism vs. Realism
Focusing on the positive and avoiding the negative, is this always a good solution?
I’m not sure, but this often tends to be my solution to better maintaining a personal feeling of happiness and balance in my own life.
Oprah Winfrey once said:
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person
can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”
What do you think?
Lets face it – life is far from 100% happy, 100% of the time. Yet, just because you know that life doesn’t always turn out happily ever after, doesn’t mean that you still shouldn’t strive for happiness (or at least try to be surrounded by happiness) a majority of the time, right?
Leave a Comment? Do you have a defense mechanism to protect your happiness? Do you think that you can change your future by changing your attitude and what effects your attitude?
*And on a lighter note, do you have a favorite happily-ever-after movie? Mine is The Holiday.
This week I am excited to be linking up with LoveLinks, a weekly link up that introduces smaller, personal blogs to new readers and commenters. Visit LoveLinks starting Wednesday and vote for your three favorite posts! Maybe mine???