Assumptions and Reflections

“Begin challenging your own assumptions.
Your assumptions are your windows on the world.
Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.”
~ Alan Alda


Do you ever find yourself assuming you know exactly who someone is, only to later realize that there is a whole different side to that person that you never knew?

I’m curious, how well do you think you know me? When you read my blog, when I share my insights and my day-to-day realizations and irritations with you, what do you see?

I read many-a-blog (OK, way too many-a-blog!) and often I find myself making assumptions based on my readings about who these bloggers are, what their lives are like, and how they survive their days.

I make these assumptions right up until…
I throw those same thoughts back at myself and wonder how people see me.


A couple weeks ago I was sitting at my church’s Sunday service that was being lead, not by our typical church leadership, but instead by the youth of the congregation. These youth were confirmands who, for one Sunday, took over our worship hour to share their lessons and reflections.

What could 8th graders possibly reflect on in their relatively short life on this earth? Well, I’ll admit that I was astonished by how much I could relate to what they spoke of and shared.

Many of the youth who presented that day I didn’t know very well. Yet after that service I felt I got to know them – not completely – but just a little bit more, in only one hour of their time reading, reflecting and leading our congregation.

And yes, in that short hour service, I probably made some assumptions about them.

I realize these days I do a lot of reflecting myself. In fact, my blog is really just one big collection of my reflections. And what I share (just like these confirmands) isn’t the complete me – yet it is a part of me.

Wiping Off Our Windows to Let More Light Through

So maybe you see me as a television star (LOL) or as an education advocate.
Or maybe you see me as mentally unstable since I do tend to have conversations with myself and have been also know as the Wicked Witch of the East.

However you see me, however you know me (in real life, online or maybe both these ways), what I want you most to know is:

What you read about me here IS real.
What you know about me in person IS ALSO real.

Likewise, realize that:

What you read about me here is not the complete me.
And what you know about me in person is also not the complete me.

Because I blog: I get to share in written word and photos some of the things I don’t always get to share in person.

Because I take the time to live a life outside of blogging: I get to share a part of me that may only be visible when I’m physically present.

I am a blogger.  But I am also a parent, a teacher, a wife, a friend, a daughter and so much more. And in each one of these aspects I share my life differently.

Through my reflections in blogging (and also by watching the bravery of the confirmands as they reflected and stepped out of their comfort zones to lead a Sunday Service) I’ve come to realize that it takes a lot of courage to put yourself (and your reflections) out there – both in person and online. And in putting yourself out there, people are always going to make assumptions.

Yet sometimes we all need to remember…

To keep on challenging our own assumptions by
“scrubbing our windows off and letting a little more light in.”

The only person you will ever completely know is yourself. And, unless you continue to “wipe your windows,” you just may miss out on a lot of ever-evolving, ever-changing people in your own life.

Because aren’t we ALL in constant change?

Leave a Comment. Do you ever find yourself assuming you know exactly who someone is only to later realize that there is a whole different side to that person that you never knew? Do you ever really know someone completely?


 This week I am linking up with Bianca at Bits of Bee for her Quotable Bits Link-up.
(Which is quickly become one of my favorite spots to link up with 🙂 Thanks Bianca!)

This entry was posted in Blogging and/or Writing, Friendships, Little Things About Me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Assumptions and Reflections

  1. angela says:

    I like what you said here about both parts of you being real, the blog part and the RL part, and also that neither is your complete self. I think we all make assumptions, and I try to remember that I am only seeing such a small part of someone.
    angela recently posted..Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight

    • Kate F. says:

      Thanks Angela. I’m glad to know that you “get” this. I’ve been doing a lot of wondering on the topic lately, as the lines become less clear between IRL friends and online friends – and as I wondered about my relationships with both types of friends, I started to realized that both types of friends know me well, just in different ways…

  2. Lisa says:

    Kate- this is all so true – it’s really hard to remember not to assume you know someone, or what they are feeling – or what their lives are like. I love especially how you write about the “real” you who is blogging and the “real” you who is living your life. Lots of food for thought!Thanks-

    • Kate F. says:

      Glad you liked it Lisa and I am especially glad that I was able to successfully get across what I was trying to communicate regarding assumptions 🙂 I must have re-written this post 50-million times trying to get is just right! (In fact, I’m not certain I was truly done with it, but I was just sick of rereading and second guessing myself! Ha!)

  3. Bits of Bee says:

    I definitely do my best to try not to make assumptions about people, but I admit I’m guilty of this too! Great post, and your quote is a great reminder that there’s always more than meets the eye! Thanks for linking up!
    Bits of Bee recently posted..Quotable Bits #19

    • Kate F. says:

      It is so easy to be guilty of making assumptions. I wrote that as both a reminder to others AND to myself 🙂

  4. Kenya G. Johnson
    Twitter: sporadictweets

    I just not to read into or read between the lines on personal blogs. We’ve all simply written what we wanted to share. I think my blog is a big part of me. Some post are memoirish but no one could go in a write my life story. I aim to inspire so I don’t share “the bad stuff”. You are absolutely correct, it does take a lot of courage to step out. Now I’m like wow – I’m out there.

    • Kate F. says:

      Yes! It does suddenly hit you that “WOW! I am really out there…” when you start blogging 🙂 I love blogging, but sometimes it can also be intimidating. I tend to feel like the things we are afraid of though… are often worth pursuing the most. So when fear makes me want to back down (or not hit publish on my blog) that’s when I know what I am saying is most important.

  5. RoryBore
    Twitter: rorybore

    I never make assumptions about people….it’s been done to me far too many times. I am highly sensitive to that.
    And because you got it exactly right: the only person you can truly know is yourself. But you know, I wonder how many people actually do really know “thyself”??? So how could I possible figure you out? LOL
    I think my time would be better served on other things. like visiting great blogs and just enjoying them for what they are, and how they inspire, encourage and uplift me.
    RoryBore recently posted..Quotable Bits #19 : Mon trésor

    • Kate F. says:

      I really think that “throwing something back at yourself” is best way to realize what NOT to do. I continually am asking myself – what would I think if someone did or said that to me? And if the answer is – I would be hurt, or sad, or disappointed – then I know not to do it. It really goes back to another quote that might have been also appropriate for this post: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

  6. I wrote about this last month – that I probably only share 2% of what’s in my heart on Literal Mom. How did I pick that number? Random, except to KNOW how much I keep back. And I, for sure, have different roles in different parts of my life. I think of it as being who I need to be for whatever the audience is. And I do think that still makes me real – everyone has different facets of their personality. No one is a flat, unpainted canvas.

    Great post, as usual, Kate!
    Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..Yep. I DO Judge and I’m Not Sorry for it

    • Kate F. says:

      That is a great comparison –> No one is a flat, unpainted canvas.

      We all have many layers and many colors… and many facets to our personalities. And I love that I have different outlets (this blog included) to share all the many pieces of myself.

  7. Lisa says:

    This is a great post. I know I make assumptions sometimes. I can’t help myself. Then I stop and take a look at myself and some of those assumptions are tossed on the cutting room floor. I find this especially true about parenting. A parent yelling at a child in public can have so many layers to it. It could be for so many reasons that we are not aware of.
    Lisa recently posted..2 years and 4 days later

    • Kate F. says:

      Yes! I definitely find it especially true about parenting Lisa… the moral of the story is – you really just can’t judge anyone’s choices until you are in their shoes yourself.

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