A Real Life – Take Two.

The other day I spent hours upon hours trying to write the perfect post.*

I read and re-read.
I crafted a flawless sentence and then scrapped the very same sentence.
I smiled at my thoughts, and then moments later would cringe at the exact same notion.

Perfectionism is incredibly…


After spending a few more agonizing mornings writing, editing and re-writing this post (a very FAR from perfect post) – I slowly began to realize that:

a. I will never be 100% happy with anything I write.
b. Perfectionism is in the eye of the beholder.
c. I am a horrible speller.**

Here’s the problem: I probably have issues with perfectionism.

I want everything I do wrapped up in a perfectly sized box and bow, delivered on time and received with applause and smiles. Yet a perfectly wrapped package is not easily done. What’s more, seemingly flawless outer wrappings are often a quick fix to deeper issues within the contents of any size box.

1 Box = 4 corners and 4 sides. All of which can contain (on occasion) way too much…

Bull sh!@#t.

No one’s life is perfect. (And the same can be said of my writing).


That’s OK.
(It is, I promise…) <— Me trying really hard to convince myself.

My real life is:

  • Trying on bathing suits that don’t always fit as I had hoped.
  • Not getting enough sleep and not finding the time for an afternoon nap.
  • Waking up on a “day off” ready to enjoy outside activities, only to find it is relentlessly storming.

Likewise, my real writing can often be:

  • Trying ideas out that maybe don’t work like I anticipated.
  • Not getting ample time to complete a post in the morning and then never finding the time later to really finish it like intended.
  • Waking up fresh in anticipation of a great work day, only to have obstacle upon “stormy” obstacle keep me from working the way I envisioned.

In writing and in life, clearing through all the bull sh!@#t is often necessary. (So bear with me on those weeks I am attempting to “clear the way.”)

I’ve had it up to here with relentless, unobtainable perfectionism.

Instead of aspiring to be really perfect, a better hope might be to make my life and this blog:

Perfectly real.

Take two.

* The only thing from the original post that still remains is the beginning of the title and the three bullet points under “My real life is:”.
** Bonus points for each spelling mistake I find (and don’t find!) after publishing this.

Leave a Comment: Do you have perfectionist tendencies? How do you curb them?

This week I am linking up with Just Be Enough.

Just.Be.Enough. has a mission to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents
and children that the time has come to celebrate ourselves.

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12 Responses to A Real Life – Take Two.

  1. I read and reread every blog post a zillion times before and after I hit publish fearing I will find some huge embarrassing mistake. I love how you say “perfectly real.” That’s the only true thing to aspire for because we’ll hit the mark every time.

    • Kate F. says:

      Ugh! I still found a mistake! –> I can’t win! I guess I just really need to be OK with not being perfect and sticking with perfectly real… (way easier said than done!)

  2. angela says:

    What I do is destructive…I retreat and don’t try 🙁 I’m working on it!

    • Kate F. says:

      I really think my intense relationship with perfectionism is probably the number one reason I don’t write here more than once a week! Between writing once here and also each week at Mothers Central the mistakes can often take their toll on me… really… I need to get over it!

  3. Kristen says:

    Oh, I have some serious issues too! I will pick myself and my home to pieces some days. I would edit the heck out of my day if I could. My girls are teaching me though that life is not perfect and you have to keep rolling with the punches. Some things will be fantastic, some things will be horrible but they are all there for the experience.
    As for spelling…thank goodness for spell check! Most of the time I think it is our fingers not being able to catch up with our brains.

    • Kate F. says:

      I have a love/hate relationship with spell check. Spell check always seems to miss the mistakes I really need it to find! 🙂 I definitely think that mistakes have a strong correlation with how fast our fingers can type and how fast our brain is thinking though! Well said Kristen.

  4. Stephanie says:

    I’m a recovering perfectionist, and while I often think I could do better, I feel pretty OK with myself when I can say “that’s good enough” and move on!

    • Kate F. says:

      I am working on those words (“that’s good enough”) and trying hard to move on… HARD! Being aware of the tendency is probably a step in the right direction. Now I just need to keep moving forward with my progress!

  5. Oh, girl. I’m such a perfectionist. I’ve had to really curb it though because both of my kids have picked it up. And the only thing worse than BEING a perfectionist is trying to RAISE perfectionists not to be perfectionists. 🙂

    • Kate F. says:

      Yep! That is exactly what has calmed me down a bit. I see so much of myself in my oldest daughter and I just want to save her from those exact same perfectionist tendencies. I actually feel as though I am better than I used to be (which says a lot considering I still have a long way to go!)

  6. Pamela says:

    Been there darlin’. I don’t give myself much room for mess and disorder in my life. I’m actually trying to help my little gal learn something different, because I already see that she is like me (and to a lesser extent, her dad too) in this area. Keep on letting go whenever you can; it’s a freeing process!

    • Kate F. says:

      It is a freeing process – yet I find I have many a “perfectionist” relapse. The only thing that often puts be back on track is thinking of how my children learn from my actions…

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