Capturing the Chaos

I woke up and realized that it was already Saturday.
Where had the busy week gone?

The week was surely NOT without its chaotic moments.

  • A few points of overwhelming mommy guilt
  • The occasional times of exhaustion and irritability
  • Days overtaken by communication overload*
    *NOTE TO SELF: Sending out 1,001 emails, means you will also get approximately 1,001 emailed replies back

But all that is behind me now, because it is Saturday morning – and my week’s to-do list is pretty much complete.

I hear myself solemnly promise that next week:

  • I will be more caught up with my work.
  • I will have more time to spend with my kids.
  • I will make sure there is less stress, less overload and less guilt.

With these intentions swirling through my mind, mid-morning Saturday brings the realization that:

My to-do list will never be complete.
It can (and will) go on – endlessly…

A small panic starts to build as I begin to grasp that today is always followed by another day of unpredictability. And as the panic increases, I fight the internal (motherly?) urge to try and fix this – to somehow find a way to capture life’s unpredictable chaos and force completion of my long, seemingly never-ending list of to-dos.

~

Saturday afternoon promptly approaches. I make a silent compromise to at least work at filling my future chaos with things of importance – things that fulfill me and which enrich our family’s lives.

Because …

Today it is Saturday.
Yesterday seems like forever ago.
And tomorrow is just around the corner.

Time doesn’t slow down and soon this day will be just another memory, another
check-check-check
off my list.

~

Eventually, it comes time to lay Saturday to rest. As I lie in bed I again think about the week’s chaos – yet this time, surrounded by the darkness and relief of my impending rest. And instead of my endless days of work and exhaustion, what I slowly recall is:

Carousel rides and smiles at the park.

Carousel Ride and Playing in the Park

Baking brownies and playing with trucks in the dirt.

Baking Brownies and Playing with Trucks

Breakfast dinners. (Complete with a glass or two of wine!)

Eating Eggs and Pancakes for Dinner

And a toddler who might only babble when talking,
but who can belt pop songs with ease from the back of our car.

These memories had somehow been lost this morning amongst the guilt, exhaustion and chaos of the long work week. And as I drift closer to Sunday I think…

Maybe the week wasn’t so bad? Maybe, I’m not doing such a terrible job of “capturing the chaos” in my life after all?

Leave a Comment: Do you think sometimes we rewrite our memories according to our mood?

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

This entry was posted in Family, Things I'd Like to Remember and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Capturing the Chaos

  1. angela says:

    I think it’s ok to do that, to focus on the things that made us happiest.

    Also? Wine with breakfast dinner is awesome.

  2. Susi says:

    I definitely think we rewrite our memories depending on our mood, or maybe not rewrite but only remember the stuff that seems to bother us and we get stuck on. I love blogging for this reason… it makes me sit down, and find the good memories and concentrate on those in a way.

    • Kate F. says:

      Exactly Susi —> “I love blogging for this reason… it makes me sit down, and find the good memories and concentrate on those in a way.

      Well said!

  3. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
    Twitter: SensibleMoms
    says:

    Blogging rocks for all the reasons you described above! Love your pics and the nice nostalgic tone to this piece. Erin

  4. Mayor Gia
    Twitter: mayorgia
    says:

    I think its best when you can give yourself permission to not worry about the to do list – it’s always more enjoyable to embrace the chaos or laziness instead of feeling guilty for it.

    • Kate F. says:

      It is more enjoyable to embrace the chaos. I am often thankful that I take the time to reflect on my week via my blog – it really helps me to see my days the way they really are, instead of the way my mood makes them feel.

  5. Stacie @ Snaps and Bits
    Twitter: snapsandbits
    says:

    Looks like a fun kind of chaos though!

    • Kate F. says:

      I am so glad in the end, I was able to see all the fun we had over the week. Because my (bad) mood can sometimes overshadow what really happened!

  6. shannon says:

    I definitely rewrite memories based on mood or what I’ve heard. I think my stories have morphed over the years. It’s neat to think about.

    • Kate F. says:

      It is fun to look back as think about the different ways I viewed my week! (All dependent on the mood – of course! LOL)

  7. Jen says:

    I definitely have to remind myself to focus on the ‘good parts’.

    • Kate F. says:

      I’m not certain why I give the bad parts of the week as much priority in my thoughts? Especially in hindsight. Honestly, I think a lot of it boils down to one thing – SLEEP. :)

  8. I totally rewrite my memories based on my mood. Sounds like you had a great week–productive! Embrace the chaos!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge